You Deserve This—But Let’s Make It Make Sense

Guest Author: Minnu Paul, Director of Global Education

A Practical Framework for Internalizing Self-Worth

1. Know What You Actually Bring to the Table

Start with clarity. Your worth isn’t a vibe—it’s a track record.

Ask yourself:

• What do I do better than most people in my field?

• What problems do I solve that make people’s lives easier?

• What kind of results have I delivered? (Quantify them.)

• What kind of feedback have I received?

  
  

This is how you identify your personal value proposition—one grounded in fact, not

wishful thinking.

Self-Verification Theory (Swann, 1983) reminds us that people want to be seen in ways

that align with how they see themselves. The clearer you are, the easier it becomes to

ask for what matches your impact.

2. Define What You Want—By Season, Not Status

Success doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone—or to you, at every stage of life. So get honest:

What do you want right now? It could be more money, flexibility, a leadership title, a

deeper sense of purpose, or less stress.

Don’t anchor your self-worth to what someone else thinks you should want. Define it for

the season you’re in.

Career Construction Theory (Savickas, 2005) positions your career as a narrative you

actively shape—not a ladder you passively climb. Internalized self-worth means aligning

your decisions with your evolving story.

3. Separate Fear from Facts

Negotiation often triggers self-doubt and people-pleasing tendencies. But many of our

fears sound like truth when they’re really just emotional static.

Instead of silencing the fear, interrogate it:

• What’s the actual risk?

• What evidence do I have that this will go poorly?

• What would I tell a friend if they were in my shoes?

Cognitive Evaluation Theory (Deci & Ryan, 1985) shows that autonomy and perceived

competence influence motivation. When you recognize what’s in your control and

validate your ability to navigate it, your confidence grows authentically.

4. Understand the Market—and Your Place In It

Your worth is personal, but your price is contextual. Do the research:

• What are others in your industry, region, and level earning?

• What benefits are standard for people at your stage?

• What do organizations in your space need right now?
  

Use that data as a benchmark—not to compare, but to calibrate.

According to Equity Theory (Adams, 1963), people evaluate fairness based on what

they give vs. what they get, compared to others. Knowing your market worth prevents

resentment—and reinforces strategic confidence.

5. Anchor Your Ask in Mutual Value

You’re not begging for a favor. You’re offering alignment. Think of negotiation as a conversation about shared goals:

• “Here’s how I can accelerate the team’s progress.”

• “This title reflects the scope of my current responsibilities.”

• “Here’s what I’ve consistently delivered, and how I plan to scale it.”

This isn’t about shrinking or puffing up. It’s about showing up as someone who

understands value—yours and theirs.

Interest-Based Negotiation (Fisher, Ury & Patton, 1981) encourages both parties to

uncover real motivations rather than trade demands. That’s how you move from tension

to solution.

Final Thought

Let’s stop treating self-worth like it’s purely emotional. You don’t need to “just believe in

yourself.” You need to understand yourself, audit your strengths, recognize your

market, define your season, and lead with value.

You don’t have to prove your worth to the world—you just have to stop doubting it

long enough to own it.

Because you do deserve this. Now let’s make it make sense.