Breaking the Perfectionism Trap: Choosing Courage Over Looking "Good"

I put "good" in quotes because what we often call a "good" appearance is actually just a mask—fixating on how others perceive our work, especially when it’s less than perfect, isn’t good at all—it’s self-sabotage dressed up as excellence.

Aiming for excellence is a good thing—but trying to be flawless all the time? That’s where things get heavy.

When we're focused on looking perfect, it’s hard to grow, take risks, or connect with people in a real way. We end up stuck, afraid to make a move unless it’s just right.

And guess what? It's not going to be perfect.

That’s why it’s so important to let go of that mindset. Real leadership isn’t about looking like you have it all together.

That's where some good ole vulnerability comes in. Leading with vulnerability creates an environment where mistakes are seen as opportunities rather than failures. Instead of waiting for the “perfect” moment or outcome, leaders step forward and encourage others to do the same.

Why the Perfectionism Trap Holds Leaders Back

At first glance, the desire to avoid mistakes and produce impeccable results seems like a strength. Yet, perfectionism leads to paralyzing oneself—where decisions are endlessly delayed in the pursuit of the ideal solution. You may become afraid to delegate, worried about losing control or exposing flaws. This fear creates a toxic environment where your team members hesitate to speak up or take initiative.

The cost of staying stuck in this trap is high. It drains energy, increases stress, and damages relationships. We miss out on learning moments, and innovation stalls because no one feels safe to experiment or fail.

How to Start Breaking from Perfectionism Today

Here are 4 simple, down-to-earth tips for breaking free from perfectionism—two for everyday life and two for the office:

1. Make Good Decisions Fast.

Don’t overthink every little choice. Practice deciding quickly—even with small things like what to eat or what to wear. The more you are able confirm with yourself that you make good decisions in the small stuff, the easier it gets to make confident decisions in the big stuff.

2. Let Done Be Enough.

Aim for solid and finished—not flawless. Whether you’re cleaning your house or writing a text, don’t waste time perfecting what’s already good enough. The return on extra effort often drops fast—once it’s useful and clear, more tweaking may add little to no value. Yes, I'm saying this to myself.

3. At Work: Hit Send Sooner.

That email or report doesn’t need to be rewritten five times. If it’s clear, helpful, and accurate, send it. You can always improve as you go—but holding it too long usually means holding yourself back.

4. At Work: Ask Instead of Assuming

Perfectionists often try to figure it all out alone. Instead, ask a teammate or your boss a quick question if you’re unsure. It saves time and builds trust—and shows you're focused on getting it right, not looking perfect.

Think Courage Not Approval

You don't need everyone to like you. Yes, it's really nice when they do, but that's not a need. Separate the "nice to have" from the "need to have."

Breaking the perfectionism trap unlocks a leadership style rooted in courage and compassion. It begins to crack open the door a little bit more to genuine connections, innovation, and personal growth.